My son Mateo turned two years old this past week. These past two years have been intense, amazing and tiring. But oh so freakin' worth it. I love seeing him and his 'sēsē' as he calls Paloma, playing together. I love how much he LOVES balloons and playing the guitar. (The ukulele in the photo was his birthday present) And I love the little kisses he gives before going to bed. But not before making sure we all get one. And as of late - I love his tiger growls. They're amazing.
One of the challenges of having two children has been the balance of being fully present with them. Living an offline life - yet at the same time being a freelance photographer who has the pressure of having an online presence. Recently, coming to a head when my wife was out of town for conferences - leaving the kids and me alone for 3-4 days at a time - many weekends back to back.
Sadly, the self-imposed pressure of having an online presence - was having me feel that I was doing something wrong by not constantly reminding the outside world - through IG Stories/posts - that I existed even though I was doing what humans have done for eons, being an engaged parent/provider.
With the advent of social media, I and many others have felt this intense pressure to continually step away from our primary duties and crafts to remind the external community we're living our lives. I'm nowhere near a conclusion as to how to properly move forward and balance these two worlds. But it's time for me to be way more intentional as to how I allow these platforms to exist in my life.
Because of this, I've been actively stepping back from social unless I have something worthwhile to say. I even deleted my main Twitter account. FINAllY! (still maintain my @americanomondays acct) I should have done that years ago. I needed to remove the stress, anxiety, and anger that Twitter brought in my life.
It’s sad that it took so long to change habits that I knew needed changing years back. Hopefully they last. I know that it will allow for me to be a better father/husband and photographer.